Excerpt: The Pursuit of God, The Human Thirst for the Divine, A.W. Tozer

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, The Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wondered so long. In Jesus' name. Amen
Excerpt: The Pursuit of God, The Human Thirst for the Divine, A.W. Tozer

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Day Five

The verse showing on my perpetual desk calendar is Psalm 16:8 "I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved."  The quote to go along with it is, "The highest pinnacle of the spiritual life is not joy in unbroken sunshine, but absolute and undoubting trust in the love of God." ~ A.W. Thorold

No one in life can say they have had sunshine every day of their lives, unless maybe they didn't live very long.  God sends rain on the just AND the unjust, so that definitely means that the sunshine will be broken!  But, just because there are dark days doesn't mean we can't rejoice in the love of God!  He truly IS love, but He is also a judge.  And He will judge sin.  He will judge sin that has not been atoned for (made obsolete; removed) by the shed blood of His dear Son, Jesus Christ.  How do we appropriate (apply) the blood that was shed on the cross to our sins?  By faith.  Faith is confidence or trust in something we have not seen.  Heb 11:1 says, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."  None of us saw Jesus being born to a virgin, live a sinless life, die on the cross then come back to life in 3 days and then return to heaven.  None of us saw any of that.  So, how do we "know?"  We have faith that what the Bible tells us is the truth.  God's Word is truth!  Jesus said in his prayer to God for the disciples and us in John 17:17, "Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth."

The problem is the doubts and fears that want to creep in and take over when the sunshine is broken and the clouds begin to roll in.  And we all have those times in our lives.  Our lives are like roller coasters.  You are either on the mountain or in the valley.  If you are on the mountain today, the valley will invariably follow!  So, how do we keep from having the doubts and fears?  The only answer I have is what the Bible says.  And since we know from John 17:17 that it is the truth of God, we know we can trust it.  Here are a few verses that I need to remember personally as Tim and I travel through the valley of fear:

  1. Joshua 1:9 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
  2. Psalm 56:3 What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.
  3. Isaiah 12:2 Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.
  4. Judges 6:23 And the LORD said unto him, Peace be unto thee; fear not: thou shalt not die.
  5. Psalm 56:4 In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.
  6. Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
  7. Isaiah 41:13 For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.
  8. Luke 8:50 But when Jesus heard it, he answered him, saying, Fear not: believe only, and she shall be made whole.
  9. Luke 12:7 But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.
  10. 2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
  11. 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

We still did not get word of when the stress test is scheduled.  Tim told me today that he has been having slight headaches and has been having pain in his abdomen.  It scares me!  He  N.E.V.E.R. ever has headaches.  When the oncologist talked to him about the results of the PET scan and MRI he mentioned there were suspicious spots showing up on his chest, on his left wrist, on one of his buttocks, on his intestine and 2 places on his skull.  So, he figures that maybe the pain in his abdomen is in the area where the spot showed around the intestine and probably the headaches are from the spots on his skull.  However, the headaches might be stress headaches, too.  Can't imagine WHY he would be under any stress!

We spent about 2 hours trying to get the SSDisability application to go through.  We had to complete a report that asked about the doctors and the hospital visits and the tests that have been done and the surgeries and the upcoming treatments, yada, yada, yada!  Then, we had to complete the application.  We changed one answer from no to yes and then it accepted his birth date.  If you remember the first time I tried, it told us that the youngest age had to be 61.  The answer that we changed from a no to a yes was this:  During the last 14 months, unable to work because of illnesses, injuries or conditions that have lasted or are expected to last at least 12 months OR can be expected to result in death.  Well, when I answered NO the first time, it was because I did not read all the way to the end of the question.  Since we know this is stage 4 cancer, we also realize that the Lord may not see fit to heal Tim.  We have to be realistic about this, even though the thought of that really hurts right now! 

So, one more item checked off of the TO DO list.  Now, if someone from the hospital would just call us about the stress test AND help us apply for the NC Medicaid on line.

A song.............

Trusting Jesus
Edgar P. Stites, Lyrics 1876
Ira D. Sankey, Composer 1876
Copyright: Public Domain
Main subject:  Trust
Scripture:   John 14:1 Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. 
  1. Simply trusting every day,
    Trusting through a stormy way;
    Even when my faith is small,
    Trusting Jesus, that is all.
    • Refrain:
      Trusting as the moments fly,
      Trusting as the days go by;
      Trusting Him whate’er befall,
      Trusting Jesus, that is all.
  2. Brightly doth His Spirit shine
    Into this poor heart of mine;
    While He leads I cannot fall;
    Trusting Jesus, that is all.
  3. Singing if my way is clear,
    Praying if the path be drear;
    If in danger for Him call;
    Trusting Jesus, that is all.
  4. Trusting Him while life shall last,
    Trusting Him till earth be past;
    Till within the jasper wall,
    Trusting Jesus, that is all.
Found here:  http://library.timelesstruths.org/music/Trusting_Jesus/

4 comments:

jeday0323 said...

Thank you for keeping us in the loop! I relish every post.

And thank you for your honesty and beautiful example! While this stinks, God is good. God is good, but I'm still sad.

Vicky said...

Yes, God is good ALL the time, even when ......

Elisabeth said...

I would be calling about that stress test every day!

Vicky said...

If tomorrow were the day he was being admitted to the hospital, we would have been on the phone, but we have a week to get it done. We are just anxious and wanted to make other plans before all the hospitalization starts. I'll explain all that in my post for today.