Excerpt: The Pursuit of God, The Human Thirst for the Divine, A.W. Tozer

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, The Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wondered so long. In Jesus' name. Amen
Excerpt: The Pursuit of God, The Human Thirst for the Divine, A.W. Tozer

Friday, December 13, 2013

Round 2 of IL-2, Day 5

The midnight dose came and went.....that made 10 doses!  Tim was ready to quit!  The nurse suggested that all of his vitals were still good and the fluid in his lungs had not changed, so he decided to do one more dose to break his record! 

8 a.m. dose came and went.....more diarrhea.....more water weight.  No more doses.  Tim said he couldn't handle any more.  Very short of breath.  Skin stretched as tight as it could go.  Very unsteady on his feet.  Dr. Stewart came in for his morning visit and said he was going to stop the treatments.  Tim was glad and said, "if you didn't stop them, I was going to!"  Dr. Stewart laughed and said he sure was hoping for 12 doses, which would be a record!  We thought the record was 14, which is what Nurse Robin told us.  Anyway, the fluid had increased in the bottom of Tim's lungs.

The day nurse talked to me out in the hall.  She said Tim's vitals were still pretty good and that he could probably still take another dose.  I told her I wished he would and that I thought he could handle another one, too!  I told her I would talk to him.  He was relaxing in the lounge chair.  I said, "are you sure you don't want to try for another dose?"  He said emphatically, NO!

One more weigh in....up again!  214.5.....beginning weight was 187.2.  Almost a 15% increase in weight, which is the max allowable.  So, it didn't matter if Tim would have wanted to take another dose or not, the increase of 3 lbs since 3:30 a.m. made the final decision.....no more doses.

5:00 the first round of Lasix was administered.....60mg, which is 20mg more than he was given the last time.  I am sure it is because he gained so much more water weight this time!  At least he is urinating now!  :D

"In sickness and in health"

I went home today to do some laundry since Tim had messed up his clothes and underwear with the diarrhea.  Before I left Tim said, "I wish you wouldn't spend the night tonight.  It is too awful!"  I kissed him goodbye and said, "I'm staying, so forget it!  You would do the same for me, wouldn't you?"  He said, "Yes."  End of conversation!  :D

When I married Tim, I remember stating that it was "to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."  We have had such a blessed marriage for these 37+ years!  I am NOT going to be like Job's wife who said, "curse God, and die" in Job 2:9 just because this event of cancer has entered into our lives.  We all came into this world with nothing and that is what we are taking out of this world.....nothing!  The only "thing" we can take with us are those loved ones and friends that we have had the privilege to see/be a part of their trusting Jesus as their personal Savior.

Do I understand what and why this cancer is happening?  No, but I accept it because I know that, "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."  I don't know how it will all work out for good, but I know that it will.  I gladly stay here next to Tim as he goes through this trial because it is my trial, too.  I want to be here to fluff his pillow, straighten his covers, help him with his socks and his pants, help him in and out of bed.  And, I don't want to go home alone to an empty house at night.....or any other time for that matter!

He has had some Greek Strawberry Yogurt and some turkey noodle soup today.  He has been drinking more, too!  He has shuffled between the bed, the lounge chair and the bathroom today.  Tonight he leaned forward pretty quickly in the chair to get up and get back in bed and got very dizzy.  The kind of dizzy that makes your stomach turn.  He gagged a couple of times, but never did actually throw up.  Finally was able to stand just enough to turn and flop onto the bed.  He needed to pee before laying down, and stood back up to use the urinal and I had to hold him up as he was very unsteady on his feet.  He was dizzy and closed his eyes while standing there. 

Continue to pray for him.  Pray he get a GOOD night of sleep so that he will feel refreshed and feel much better tomorrow morning.  I'd like to see him eat a whole banana along with the Greek yogurt!

2 comments:

Unknown said...

My heart hurts for my dear Pastor and for you. I wish I had the gift of wisdom and comfort but I know the author of wisdom and comfort. I love you both so much.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you and your man, Vicky!!!