Excerpt: The Pursuit of God, The Human Thirst for the Divine, A.W. Tozer

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, The Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wondered so long. In Jesus' name. Amen
Excerpt: The Pursuit of God, The Human Thirst for the Divine, A.W. Tozer

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Update on Tim

Today’s doctor and MRI visits:

We left the house around 9:40 and finally got back home around 5:30.
The first item on the agenda was porta cath care and blood work at 10:30.
Then the follow up with the oncologist at 11:30 so he could talk about the results of the blood work and examine Tim.  However, today he did not examine Tim since Tim was in the wheelchair and kind of out of it since he did not get much, if any, sleep last night.  He fretted all night about the MRI. 

He is becoming more and more anxious.  He was getting his feet tangled in the covers the other night, so last night he decided he needed to sleep on top of the covers.  So, I put a sweatshirt on him for the replacement of a blanket.  Before I could get it over his head, he was panicking.  The bathroom light across from the bedroom has to be left on at night and our bedroom door remains open.

Anyway, the oncologist said that this should be the low point of the chemo treatment and he should start to rebound now…….just in time to begin the process all over again.  The good news is that we have been able to tell that a few of the melanoma tumors have shrunk.  Let’s just pray the ones in the brain do, too!  I asked the doctor if there was a limit to the number of treatments Tim would be taking.  He said it all depended on the white blood cell count.  So blood work will be done at least once a month before he determines whether Tim is good to go for another 28 day cycle of 5 days taking the chemo pill followed by 23 days off.

The doctor wanted us to come back to see him after the MRI was done.

We had about an hour and a half to kill before the MRI, so I grabbed a chicken sandwich from Hardees, took it to the MRI Center and ate it in the parking lot while Tim took a nap.  He had to be at his appointment at 1:30 check-in time and 2:00 for the MRI.  We went in at 1:00, hoping to be slipped in early.  Not so much.  They were running behind and it was 2:45 before he even went back and by the time they gave him the sedative it was later than that when the MRI started.

The nurse said the sedative was a fail, but they were able to complete the study.  Tim was just really fidgety even with the sedative.  He remembers them telling him to be a good boy and hold his head still (this after she told me he wouldn’t remember anything about it!)  HA!

We got back over to the main campus of the hospital around 4:00.  The nurses de-accessed his port and we waited for the doctor to come see us about the MRI results.  When he got there around 4:45, he had to admit he didn’t really know what he was looking at.  He is not the brain MRI specialists.  He said he saw the melanoma, but he doesn’t know what the other doctor has in mind for any further radiation treatment, if any.  So, he said he would have to wait and talk with him.

In the meantime, the doctor is very concerned about Tim’s weakness and trying to walk around the house up and down the steps between the “man cave” and the kitchen.  I told him we could take care of that since there is a bathroom and a bedroom in that end of the house and there is really no need for him to go up and down the stairs.

On the 11th we meet with the eye doctor about the double vision returning.  Tim is really suffering with motion sickness, I think, due to the double vision!  I think that is why he keeps getting nauseous while we are out, especially!

All it took was for me to wheel him into the MRI center for him to become nauseous.  He saw the trash can and said, "Stay close to that trash can."  So, I asked the check-in desk if he could use it to throw up in.  Fortunately, he sat still long enough that he never did throw up.  I hate it for him, though.  Hopefully the eye doctor will be able to do something to help him.

I’m discouraged because Tim was doing so well before he started this chemo treatment.  He was getting back into preaching again and feeling pretty good!  Now, it is as though all of the progress has been ripped away from him again!  I think he is doing worse now than when he had the brain surgery!  I think I need an attitude adjustment!  Thy will be done, LORD!  Thank You for the good years Tim has had during the treatment of the metastatic melanoma!

I did learn today that probably giving him one of the doses of the steroid with his night time meds is contributing to him not being able to sleep at night.  The doctor said that 5:00 should probably be the latest he takes the last dose.  Well, by the time we got home tonight, we were already past that time, so I decided not to give him the dose at all tonight.  I started the Xanax tonight.  Pray that he sleeps through the night!  Pour guy needs it after the night he had last night!

3 comments:

jeday0323 said...

My heart breaks for Tim, and for you having to watch you sweetheart suffer like this. Lord, please bring both of them some hope!

Unknown said...

Vicky, you are the strongest wins I know. You are strong in the promise of our Lord, you are strong in taking care of you wonderful husband. When I read your blog, I draw strength from you. You are the shot in the arm I need almost everyday to remain faithful in our Lord, and your love for your wonderful husband is what I want to see in my life. You are amazing!! God Bless you in all you do!

Unknown said...

That was suppose to be woman, not wins , lol