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Monday, August 21, 2017

Joy Will Come Some Morning

Missing you, Babe!
I took a piece of mail to the church and as I walked through the auditorium, the thought of you never preaching behind that pulpit again started the tears.  I walked out of the auditorium and opened the door of your closed office and sat down in your chair and wept as I looked around the room at you.....your books, your fossils, your barometers, your family photos, your empty plant shelves, your certificates of accomplishment, your weather station, your label maker, your framed art.....then I opened your desk drawers and wept for the order that is you.....a place for everything and everything in it's place.....except you.  You have a new place now, an eternal place.  I'm thankful for the healing you have received in that new Place!  Joy will come to me some glad morning.  But for now, I weep.

".....weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."  Psalm 30:5

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Just Like Papaw

Dearest Tim,
Jessica told me that Chance is taking a harmonica to school for show and tell because "my papaw liked to play harmonica and I like it and want to be just like him!"  What a wonderful compliment!  What an influence you made in everyone's life.

My Lord's day was no comparison to yours, I'm sure!  Being face to face with our Savior is hard to beat and something I can hardly wait for!  But, I had a good day!

Ilene and I joined Calvin, Sharon, Bobby and Joy for lunch at Vinnie's after church this morning.  What great fellowship!

We sang your favorite song today, "Living by Faith."  You lived your faith well!

I got a wonderful note from Doug Stewart letting me know he was praying for the family during our grieving time and told me he believed your life touched many other lives, especially in the way you handled your illness!  What a testimony of trusting God you lived!  Thank you for loving me!

I will always love you!
The Little Woman

Tim used to refer to me as "the little woman" sometimes.  What a special memory!

Today I sent some more thank you cards out, did some checkbook work, other computer work and after church tonight I changed the church sign saying and began packing the boxes I got from Food Lion last night with my books.  WHEW!  I have packed up 6 1/2 boxes and I'm still not done!

I'm going to need a TON more boxes!  I am going to need the Lord to help me weed out A LOT of stuff!

Jesus, Savior, pilot me
Over life’s tempestuous sea;
Unknown waves before me roll,
Hiding rock and treach’rous shoal;
Chart and compass come from Thee;
  Jesus, Savior, pilot me.

As a mother stills her child,
Thou canst hush the ocean wild;
Boist’rous waves obey Thy will
When Thou say’st to them, “Be still.”
Wondrous Sov’reign of the sea,
  Jesus, Savior, pilot me.

Though death’s valley I may pass,
Still Thy grace will fear surpass;
In Thy presence I will rest,
And, while leaning on Thy breast,
I will hear Thee say to me,
  “Fear not, I will pilot thee.”

Saturday, August 19, 2017

The Sweetness of Friendship

My sweet Tim,
Today I am thanking God for the gift of friendship. It has been a balm for my loneliness. Oh, what blessings I have received today!
First, Juanita called to invite me to meet her for lunch. We talked and shared many things for close to 2 hours. It was such a delightful time which I needed so desperately and one we both declared we needed to repeat sooner than later!

After returning home I worked on the bulletin and printed it out. At 4:30 I took the folded bulletins to the church just as Sharon and Calvin were pulling in to take me to Ruby Tuesday to eat with them. More delightful conversation around a good meal. Thank You, Lord!

As they dropped me off Ilene called to see how I was doing. She was having a rough day, so I packed my suitcase and came to her aid. I'm spending the night and we eased one another's loneliness. God has been near and dear to me all day. He is a good and gracious God!

"He fills my life with good things, so that I stay young and strong like an eagle." Psalm 103:5

Thank You, Lord, for every good and perfect gift from above!

Friday, August 18, 2017

An Empty Chair

My Dearest Tim,
Today you have been gone 10 days, 1 hour, 12 minutes and 45 seconds.  It still seems so unreal.  I keep expecting to hear your voice, to see your smile.  Today I got your death certificate and the copies of your obituary, but it still doesn't seem real.

I filled the bird feeders and sat down to enjoy them.  No birds came.  It's just as well because your seat was empty.  I cried.  I needed to talk to someone, so I called Lori.  She diverted my thoughts.  It was a temporary fix.

Now it is time for bed, but you are not here.  The bed we shared for 41+ years is missing  So, I will take two tylenol pm's and an anxiety pill and I will hopefully sleep through the night and through the sorrow of missing you.

I love and miss you, Babe!

The gray clouds are a reflection of the gray I felt in my heart this evening.

An empty chair.

No birds came.

Even though I was extremely sad tonight, there is hope in the Lord!  "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Remembering Tim

Tim has been in heaven a week already, as of 9:48 EST this evening!

I Can Only Imagine what he is seeing and experiencing!  Click on the link to listen to Amy Grant and be prepared for chills and tears!

Heaven will be worth it all!

Heaven Will Surely Be Worth It All
Lyrics: W. Oliver Cooper
Music: Minzo C. Jones

Often I'm hindered on my way,
Burdened so heavy I almost fall;
Then I hear Jesus sweetly say;
"Heaven will surely be worth it all."

Many the trials, toils and tears,
Many a heartache may here appall;
But the dear Lord so truly says:
"Heaven will surely be worth it all."

Toiling and pain I will endure,
Till I shall hear the death angel call;
Jesus has promised and I'm sure
Heaven will surely be worth it all.

Heaven will surely be worth it all.
Worth all the sorrows that here befall;
After this life with all its strife,
Heaven will surely be worth it all.

The pastor who conducted Tim's funeral is a good friend of Tim's.  He wrote this poem for Tim:

Timothy Day, 1954 – 2017
A quiet man of kindness known,
By words confirmed in actions shown.
A man respected, without deception
Above reproach with no exception.

A scholar’s mind, a servant’s heart.
A student’s friend, the seeker’s art.
In language skilled, in words well-said.
Ever learning, in books well read.

Friend, father, faithful man
Of God, always trusting Heaven’s plan.
A life too short but yet well-spent
A soul not here, but just absent.

Loved more than our words can say,
By those who mourn with us today.
Loved even more by his Savior
Who received him into Heaven’s favor

Safe in the arms of Jesus!  I miss and love you, Babe!

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Update on Tim

Tim's decline in health has been very evident over the last couple of weeks. But this week it took a nose dive.  Friday, there were several times I checked on him in the spare bedroom to find him flat on his back with a comatose stare at the ceiling. When I asked him if he was ok, he could barely answer. He also had been feeling the need to urinate without being able to.  So I sent a note to his 3 main doctors: the oncologist, the radiation oncologist, and the neurologist. I basically begged them to consider admitted Tim to the hospital because of his weakening condition. The neurologist (neurosurgeon) answered that he was concerned about Tim's overall condition deteriorating. He said, "After reviewing his most recent brain imaging, I recommend no neurosurgical intervention. However, he needs a medical evaluation. I recommend that you bring him to the ED here for an evaluation and possible admission to the hematology/oncology or medicine service."  Knowing how Tim HATES waiting in the ER, especially when you don't feel well to begin with, I asked him if he wanted to go. He said yes, so we went.

While we were waiting to be seen, the oncologist called me to see what was going on. I told him he was even worse than he was 2 days ago when he had the brain MRI. He told me someone explained to him that the cancer has spread to the lining of the brain. He said once the cancer has done that chemo usually doesn't have much effect. He said he would work on getting Tim admitted with the idea of transitioning to hospice care at home.

In a few minutes time, the doctor's nurse called me and said they were waiting on a bed. Within an hour one of the ER nurses was taking us to his room. Thank You, Lord!

The nursing staff set about to make him comfortable. They first did an ultrasound on his abdomen to see how much fluid was in his bladder. They found it to be holding about a liter, so they inserted a Foley catheter. First problem solved.

Next, fluids were administered after his portacath was accessed. And then they began to work on his constipation by giving him a laxative.

The plan for getting him to sleep for the night was Xanax and Ambien. I asked him if he was ok with me going home to get some sleep and print out the bulletin. He said yes. I stayed until I knew he was asleep.

On the way home, I realized that I needed a hug. So I called Sharon and asked her if she was busy and told her I needed a hug. She said to come! Thank you, Sharon and Calvin for the hugs, the food and the encouragement and love.

After I got home, I started calling Tim's family to let them know about his condition. I sent texts to others and an email to a pastor friend and his wife. I printed out the bulletin and did a little bit of laundry.  I was in bed around 12:15 and didn't wake up until 5:50! I haven't slept that well in a month of Sundays! Thank You Lord!

Took my shower, packed my bedding and clothes in the suitcase, washed our sheets for the girls and threw them in the dryer, fixed up my purse and a tote with my meds, camera, books, etc., took the bulletins to the church and our tithe. Loaded up the car and headed back to the hospital.

Nothing has relieved Tim's constipation. Not the laxative or the suppository or the enema.  Not sure what they will do about that. He has been throwing up bile today.

Well, here's to another night of rest (hopefully, if Tim ever settles down and quits fidgeting). Of course, when Tim finally settled down, the nurse needed vitals! GRRR!

Thursday, August 3, 2017


I had to call 911 around 3:30 a.m.  I was helping Tim move from the recliner to the bed in the guest room.  He tried to get there too quickly and his legs buckled under him and he went down while I was holding him.  We worked for 15 minutes trying to get him up, but without strength, he could not help me and I just could not lift him.

911 dispatch transferred my call to the EMTs.  I put a pillow behind Tim's head, threw a blanket over him and he went to sleep while waiting on them to arrive.  It took longer for the paperwork than for them to get him up.  Fortunately it didn't cost anything since we didn't need ambulance transport to the hospital.  Thank You, LORD!

He slept pretty well until 1:00.  After that it was a game of transfers.....from the bed to the recliner to the bed and back again.  And add to that the many times he had to pee.  BUT, I'm glad he is drinking more!  Thank You, LORD!

He said several times today that he wished he could go to the ER and that they would do something to make him feel better.  Breaks my heart!  Liz is going to come tomorrow and bring me some milk and give me her opinion on her dad's condition.  He is definitely worse, but I don't know how much more to endure before I insist he be admitted to the hospital for some help.

I'm tired, so I am just going to close so I can get some sleep while he is sleeping.  Thank you all for your prayers!