All Is Well, But I'm Not Feeling It

From today's journaling:

As I pack up to leave Jessica's in the morning I am weepy. 

Thank You, Lord, for Kleenex!

I think it is the "unsettled" feeling creeping in.  I feel like a weary nomad with no place to call home (even though, really, I am blessed to be able to call several places "HOME").  I pack up your pictures to take to the next temporary dwelling, but that doesn't help the emptiness I feel without you by my side.  Even the little framed sign I have on my desk doesn't seem to help today, "Wherever I am God is and all is well."  And it should be, and normally is, so why not today?  Because right now I don't need a picture of you.  I need you!  I don't need a sign, I need a flesh and blood hug from my lover, my best friend.  I need another passionate kiss from your lips.  Today, I need you here by my side telling me, "All is well."  And for you it is.  And I'm glad, but I'm sad.

Help me, heavenly Father, to feel the assurance I know to be true from Your Word.  The assurance of the promise that You will never leave me nor forsake me.  The assurance of a permanent home, even though any home here on this side of heaven is only temporary!  Help me to feel "settled" even while staying here or there or wherever my head lies down at night.  Thank You for the love of family and friends who are trying to help me to feel "settled" in this new life I must live now without the love of my life, my best friend in this world, my sweet Tim.

I was in a little better frame of mind tonight.  Jessica and Terry took me out to eat at Rome 116, a Christian restaurant.  The Rome 116 stands for Romans 1:16 which says, "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek."  After eating, we went back to the house and played games all evening.  The kids even got to stay up a little longer than usual.

This was one of the wall arts that were in the restaurant.

I went outside to capture the gorgeous sunset.

Thank you, Jessica and Terry, for the meal!

Uno, one of the three games we played tonight.

Poor mom got served more "dirt" than I have ever seen in one hand before!

Last but not least, playing ping pong with Michael.  He started out hot and beat 3 games in a row playing Jessica and me.  But, I came back and won the last 3.  He had his chest puffed out after those first 3 games.  We told him that his pride would come before his fall.

Thank you, Terry, for opening your home to me.  It means the world to me!  Thank you, Jessica, for your wonderful company throughout the month!  I have loved spending time with you!  All of you!  I will miss being with you, but I'm ready to get back home and get busy in the Lord's work again with our church family!  I love you so much!  Already looking forward to more adventures with you and your family!

Elisabeth, ready or not, here I come!  :D

Out of the Mouth of Babes

The conversations of children can be somewhat comical at times......and sometimes you wonder where in the world they get some of the stuff they say.  Jessica and I were talking about everything and nothing at the same time when the kids decided to join us.  For a while they played trying to figure out which hand the wadded up piece of paper was in.  Then, the following conversation began:

Chance to Thad:  You have 11 girlfriends.
Thad:  No I don't!  I don't even have 10!
Mommy to Thad:  Do you have one girlfriend?
Thad:  No!
Mommy:  How many do you have?
Thad:  6
Mommy:  What's their names?
Thad (smiling sheepishly):  I forget!
Then Chance and mommy proceed to mention some names.  One name came alive with Thad...
Thad to Chance:  "_________" likes me the most.  She said she wants to marry me and have babies with me and kiss me!
Mommy:  She said that???!!!  A kindergartener said that???!!!

Mommy's question said, "How does a little kid just starting school even know how to talk like that?!"  Not all parenting matches your own, Mommy!  Not everyone's morals are equal to yours, unfortunately.  Not everyone has the same belief, either, that guides how you parent.  If there is any consolation from that conversation, Mommy, it is that things are in the "proper order!"  You know......marriage comes first, then the babies, THEN the kissing!  :D

Seriously, though, conversations like this from a 6 year old are scary!  What happened to boys and girls believing that the opposite sex had cooties until the age of 12 or 13??  I guess the sexual revolution of the 60's and 70's changed that, didn't it?  What a shame that kids can't be kids any more!  I don't think I even realized boys could be something other than brothers til I was 14!  That may be stretching it a bit, but you get my point! 

I'm glad I had the chance to grow up as a kid!  I'm glad for being able to play with boys and girls my own age without having to think about the sex thing when I was a kid.  I'm glad my parents kept me pretty naive about the adult "stuff."  Thank you, mom and dad, for your parenting!  I wish I had let you know how much I appreciate your wisdom!  Thank you for giving me a real childhood!

Mommy, keep doing what you are doing!  Keep praying for your kids!  Pray for wisdom in raising your kids!  Are you going to always do it right?  NOPE!  But, don't forget, God can right the wrongs of our parenting!

Pool Side

Saturday.  Busy day in the Jones household.  All 4 kids are doing something that requires taking them somewhere - two of them at the same time.

Thad has swim lessons at the same time Araya has gymnastics.  Michael works and needs a lift to work because he has lost his driving privileges.  Chance has gym ninja at 2:00.  Since I had not yet gone to watch Thad with his swim lessons, we took him (Jessica and I) and afterwards we went back to McDonalds for breakfast.  Then we went home to get Michael to take him to work.  Afterwards, we went to Hobby Lobby to shop.  Then we went to Frisch's Big Boy for a late lunch.

After we got home, Jessica and I worked on a blanket project for the Awana kids to complete on Wednesday.  These blankets will be delivered to a hospital for kids, I believe.  Then we played games, ate a late supper, watched some football and then went to pick Michael up from work.  What a day!

Thad's swimming lesson:

Lunch at Frisch's:

We played a fun game tonight:

That was my day!  Pray you have a blessed Lord's Day tomorrow!

Don't Feel Badly

Twenty five of us gathered today.  It was a wonderful gathering.  Tim's brothers and their spouses and Tim's sister, mom and dad and spouse, three of our kids and families, and Terry's mom and step dad, and me.

Tim's siblings told stories from their childhood years.  They shared things they learned from Tim.  We laughed.  At one point, someone said, "I wish I had known him (Tim) better."  It made me sad that she hadn't gotten to know the great man that he was and I teared up.  I knew by her expression that she thought she had done something wrong.  I want you to know that I don't want you to feel badly when something you (or anyone) says makes me cry at the remembrance of Tim.  All of those remembrances are wonderful!  It only makes me sad that making the memories came to an end!  I want to keep the memory of him alive!  Alive for his grandchildren.  Alive for his children.  Alive for his family!  Alive for his church family!  Alive for anyone who didn't really know him.  The fact that you go away wishing you had known Tim better is a beautiful thing to me!  He was a wonderful man!  I wish the world could have known him!

So, please, don't feel badly if I cry at the mention of him!  It's not for the mention that I cry, but for the missing!

So, here are some pictures from our gathering today:

It was a beautiful day today!  Thank You, Lord!

Doing flips

This bird did not want to be cooked today!  But, after 2 different smokers and twice in the oven, it finally got done!  And it was delicious!!!

cousins

Siblings.  Sure missed their brother, Michael and family today!

Jeff cooked a leg of lamb.  It was yummy!

Praying before the meal

The oldest two cousins

Tim's brothers and sister.....Jeff, Jennifer and Jon

cousins

Fun day!  Love you all!