Excerpt: The Pursuit of God, The Human Thirst for the Divine, A.W. Tozer

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, The Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wondered so long. In Jesus' name. Amen
Excerpt: The Pursuit of God, The Human Thirst for the Divine, A.W. Tozer

Sunday, December 29, 2013

The Tim Day Clan

A perfect way to end a beautiful weekend with the family.....family photos.  And what made it extra special is because ALL of us were together, if only for a few hours towards the end of the visit when Nat and Cheryl and Adalina arrived after church today.  Even before lunch, we decided it would be better to get the pictures out of the way!

18 of us, so far!  :D

8 beautiful GRANDchildren, thank You, Lord!

Jessica (33) and Michael (32)............

...........Elisabeth (30) and Nathanael (28).

Nathanael has always complained that there are NO pictures of him growing up (a few) and Michael told him he had that number doubled today!  LOL!

The blessing of family!

Kara (7) and Adalina (4 months).

The GRANDdaughters.....Hannah (9), Adalina (4 months), Abigail (2 1/2) and Kara (7).

Hannah (9) and Adalina (4 1/2 months).

The GRANDsons!  Michael (12 1/2), Thad (2), Ryan (7) and Chance (3 1/2).

I found these butterfly transfer sheets at the thrift store and knew they would be perfect for Hannah and Kara who are just about the same size (Kara is quickly passing Hannah in height!).  Their mommies brought a couple of pink shirts and they look absolutely beautiful with the butterflies on them!

It was a GRAND weekend!  Nathanael and Cheryl will be spending the night with us tonight and going home sometime tomorrow.  Nathanael worked last night so he is currently taking a nap before church.  Adalina is catching a few winks, too!

Thank you all for the wonderful weekend!  Wish we could get together more often!  Love you all!

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Round 2 of IL-2, Day 7

At 3:45 a.m., Tim weighed 205.+ (I don't know what the tenths number was).  He was down another 3 lbs when they weighed him again at 2:45 this afternoon! So, that is 15 lbs.  If everything else is OK, he has 10 more to go, which will take him to within 5 lbs of his starting point when he entered the hospital last Monday! Here hoping for lots of P between now and tomorrow sometime!

His appetite is coming back more and more! His taste is still a little off. We did some walking and he sat up in the recliner most of the day!

He decided to take an afternoon nap!

Let me think.   I took this after his shower this morning which always makes him feel better and smile.

After his nap this afternoon, he sat in the lounge chair and watched football in between a few zzzzzzzzzzz's.  We had shared a turkey sandwich and tomato basil soup for lunch and ate some chex mix at around 1, so it was a little later when we ordered dinner.  But, Tim didn't really feel like his lunch had digested, so he ate the jello and I ate the rest.  A BBQ Pulled Chicken sandwich, fries, salad and apple crisp.  It was a lot of food for that late at night.....7 p.m. is when it was delivered to the room.  The food is pretty good!

At 8 the nurse gave him 60mg of Lasix and within an hour he had peed a liter.  It slowed down considerably after that and he finished watching some football until 11 when the nurse gave him some benedryl to help him sleep and he is also starting to itch again.

Well, hopefully we will be able to go home tomorrow!  Hopefully they will just send him home with some more lasix like before since he is doing well otherwise.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Round 2 of IL-2, Day 6

So, here's one of the reasons Tim is just soooooooooo tired.....weigh-in at 3:30 a.m. and labs drawn, etc. Why at that hour of the night? However, he was probably awake. Several times when I rolled over when I heard him stirring, he was sitting up on the edge of the bed. When I asked him if he was OK, he just said he was bored and trying to pass the night away! Had benedryl to help him sleep, but with the alarms going off all the time and the nurse coming in to check this and that and give him tylenol, etc, I don't think the benedryl has a chance to do its job properly!

So, anyway, the water weight was down almost 3 lbs at weigh-in! Onward and downward!  And, one of the guys at our church that used to do the 3:30 weigh-ins and labs said doctors call/come early to check on the patient's stats and in order to get the lab results back on time, they have to be taken early.  Makes sense.

At around 8:30, the nurse who checks the towels and urine output and makes the bed came in and helped Tim get his port covered so he could take his shower while she changed his bed.

AH!  Feeling refreshed and ready to catch some morning news on the Today show.

Tim ate a pretty good breakfast today of raisin bran, 2% milk and banana cut up on it.  YUM!  He dozed off and on in between potty breaks after having received 40mg of Lasix.  I asked why 40mg vs 60mg given to him yesterday.  She said it depended on the urine output.  The quantity measured just under what the requirement for 60mg would have been.  The nurse said she may have been able to go ahead and give him 60mg, but would have to ask.  I told her it didn't seem like the 60mg did any more than the 40mg did.  He will get another dose at 9 p.m. tonight.

At about 11:20, he awoke from his nap and said, "OK, let's get out of here and take a walk."   He can still only go around the "block" once before he is ready to go back to the room to rest.  The "block" here is much bigger than the "block" where he previously was in the other building.

There's my smile I have missed the last couple of days!  He ate half a bowl of potato and bacon soup and some chex mix.  I'm so glad he is getting his appetite back!

Early in the afternoon I asked Tim what he thought about Subway for dinner.  He said it sounded great!  So, I asked the nurse if there was a way to get from here to there (3 towers away) without going outside.  She said there was, but that some of the doors are locked at certain points and the only way to return is with an employee badge.  But, she said she would give me her phone number and I could call her and she would come and let me back in.  I said, well, I may change my mind if it is a nuisance.  Tim said, no way!  He was looking forward to having Subway for dinner!

I ended up going, figuring it would take me an hour to get there, place the order and feel my way back.  The nurse took me to the doors that would be locked coming back to show me the way.  Then she decided to take me most of the way to Subway.  So, with her good directions, I only got sidetracked one time.  Thanks be to God, a security guard looked at me and said, "I know that look!"  I said, you mean the one that tells you I am lost?!  He laughed and said, "Yes!"  He got me back on the straight and narrow!  :D

Thanks, Sharon and Calvin, for the delicious dinner!  Tim had a 6" meatball marinara  with green peppers and onions and pepper jack cheese on Italian herb and cheese bread, chips and a drink.  I had a personal pepperoni pizza with onions, green peppers and banana peppers, doritos and sweet tea.  YUM!

See the difference in Tim's right hand compared to his left hand?  The water has really gone down in the left hand, but not so much in the right hand.  We don't understand why this is, unless the blood pressure cuff being constantly on the right arm has some how caused the water not to release from the right arm.  So, since the cuff is not going off but once an hour now, we have taken it off and will only put it on when it is time and see if that helps.

Well, to have something to do while Tim napped this afternoon, I decided to do some scrapbooking challenges at Digital Scrapbook Pages.

Calendar Challenge
Info:  You are given a mini kit that includes the calendar that you are to use in the creation of your "calendar."  I always make a desktop calendar for my computer.  And I like to leave the left side fairly clear for the desktop icons.

Designer Elements Challenge
Info:  You are given a mini kit to create a page with.  I basically try to find a picture with the same colors as the kit.

Font Challenge
Info:  You are given several fonts to choose 2 from and create your page with.  There is a restriction to using so many elements/papers from Digitals designers for these challenges.  So, since I don't have any of my Digitals stuff on the laptop, I spent some time downloading all of the free store samplers from the designers and created my page from a mix of those items.

Well, Tim is relaxing in the lounge chair and I'm going to do some reading, so this will be the only post for today.  More tomorrow!

Friday, December 13, 2013

Round 2 of IL-2, Day 5

The midnight dose came and went.....that made 10 doses!  Tim was ready to quit!  The nurse suggested that all of his vitals were still good and the fluid in his lungs had not changed, so he decided to do one more dose to break his record! 

8 a.m. dose came and went.....more diarrhea.....more water weight.  No more doses.  Tim said he couldn't handle any more.  Very short of breath.  Skin stretched as tight as it could go.  Very unsteady on his feet.  Dr. Stewart came in for his morning visit and said he was going to stop the treatments.  Tim was glad and said, "if you didn't stop them, I was going to!"  Dr. Stewart laughed and said he sure was hoping for 12 doses, which would be a record!  We thought the record was 14, which is what Nurse Robin told us.  Anyway, the fluid had increased in the bottom of Tim's lungs.

The day nurse talked to me out in the hall.  She said Tim's vitals were still pretty good and that he could probably still take another dose.  I told her I wished he would and that I thought he could handle another one, too!  I told her I would talk to him.  He was relaxing in the lounge chair.  I said, "are you sure you don't want to try for another dose?"  He said emphatically, NO!

One more weigh in....up again!  214.5.....beginning weight was 187.2.  Almost a 15% increase in weight, which is the max allowable.  So, it didn't matter if Tim would have wanted to take another dose or not, the increase of 3 lbs since 3:30 a.m. made the final decision.....no more doses.

5:00 the first round of Lasix was administered.....60mg, which is 20mg more than he was given the last time.  I am sure it is because he gained so much more water weight this time!  At least he is urinating now!  :D

"In sickness and in health"

I went home today to do some laundry since Tim had messed up his clothes and underwear with the diarrhea.  Before I left Tim said, "I wish you wouldn't spend the night tonight.  It is too awful!"  I kissed him goodbye and said, "I'm staying, so forget it!  You would do the same for me, wouldn't you?"  He said, "Yes."  End of conversation!  :D

When I married Tim, I remember stating that it was "to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."  We have had such a blessed marriage for these 37+ years!  I am NOT going to be like Job's wife who said, "curse God, and die" in Job 2:9 just because this event of cancer has entered into our lives.  We all came into this world with nothing and that is what we are taking out of this world.....nothing!  The only "thing" we can take with us are those loved ones and friends that we have had the privilege to see/be a part of their trusting Jesus as their personal Savior.

Do I understand what and why this cancer is happening?  No, but I accept it because I know that, "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."  I don't know how it will all work out for good, but I know that it will.  I gladly stay here next to Tim as he goes through this trial because it is my trial, too.  I want to be here to fluff his pillow, straighten his covers, help him with his socks and his pants, help him in and out of bed.  And, I don't want to go home alone to an empty house at night.....or any other time for that matter!

He has had some Greek Strawberry Yogurt and some turkey noodle soup today.  He has been drinking more, too!  He has shuffled between the bed, the lounge chair and the bathroom today.  Tonight he leaned forward pretty quickly in the chair to get up and get back in bed and got very dizzy.  The kind of dizzy that makes your stomach turn.  He gagged a couple of times, but never did actually throw up.  Finally was able to stand just enough to turn and flop onto the bed.  He needed to pee before laying down, and stood back up to use the urinal and I had to hold him up as he was very unsteady on his feet.  He was dizzy and closed his eyes while standing there. 

Continue to pray for him.  Pray he get a GOOD night of sleep so that he will feel refreshed and feel much better tomorrow morning.  I'd like to see him eat a whole banana along with the Greek yogurt!

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Totally Worn Out

209.2 was the afternoon weight.  That is a water gain of 22 lbs so far.  If he gets up and does anything, he is breathing hard by the time he gets back, like he has just run a mile.  And he is weak from not eating much.  BUT, he has received 9 doses!  It is too early to know if he will receive the midnight dose.  He is definitely more tired this time around, but the water has not affected his lungs and oxygen, which is good!  He took his shower tonight and it was all he could do to get it done, and get dressed and brush his teeth.  He flopped back on his bed and let me put his socks on him and help him with his shirt.  Hold on, sweetie!  It is almost over!  Before you know it, they will be giving you the lasix to get the fluids back off!  And you will be an even greater IL-2 Rockstar than before!

I talked him into sharing some Progresso Chicken and Wild Rice soup with me for lunch.  That was better than nothing!

So, I have been huddled in this corner today, just reading, watching some TV, doing crossword puzzles and doing some facebooking.  That is a comforter and my pillow that I brought from home.  The brown fleece blanket waded up on the end is the one Tim uses for cocooning.

Shower taken, all hooked back up to his monitoring equipment and IV fluids and totally wiped out and ready for bed by 8!

His vitals are still pretty good, Praise the Lord!

So, the back of the couch unfolds and pulls forward to make a (slab) bed.....hard as a rock!  Very little give!

So, I fold the comforter in half and then in half again long ways and make a very narrow padding to sleep on!  It helps, but is definitely NOT my bed!  :D

And, another day is gone!  Assuming Tim gets his midnight dose, making the 10th, he will still have a chance to take 3 more doses.....8 a.m., 4 p.m., and midnight tomorrow.  Praying he is able to receive all of them!  :D

Round 2 of IL-2, Day 4

Long night, but I got more sleep (I think) than I thought I would.  Tim got the midnight dose, which made a total of  7 doses so far!  On to Day 4!

The diarrhea continues.  But it has slowed down, but the nurse game Tim some Imodium to help.  He was able to receive the 8 a.m. dose, too!  YAY!  8 doses down!  He is so done with it, however!  I think if he had his way about it, he would like to get dose 9 and 10 today and call it quits!  I hope that doesn't happen, however!  We are here to get as many as his body can handle, right??  Of course, I can say that......I'm not the one receiving the doses and having all the side effects of bloating and diarrhea and loss of appetite and shortness of breath!

Cocooning after the 8 a.m. dose.

Time for a change of scenery.

Here is the shape of the Cancer Center.  No wonder some of the room have weird shapes to work with!  :D  Tim's room is at the bottom of the diagonal line (on the left) on the center shape that looks like a rectangle with a chunk cut off of it making it into a weird geometric shape.....a right angle triangle, maybe??
Maybe you can tell what I mean by this little design (that is not perfect, obviously).
              /         |
            /           |
         /              |
805 /                |
      | ___ _____|

Here is the new Family area.  It is beautiful.  There are consultation rooms, a serenity room, a kitchenette, laundry area, and vending machines. Lots of windows.

I know some of my "artsy" friends will like this mixed media canvas that is in the family area.  The art is by Eva Marie Rotel (Rutel or Ratel...not sure).

Here's the kitchenette.  I was the first one to use the microwave.....it still had all the paperwork in it and I had to plug it in.

There's the vending machines at the other end of the kitchenette.

There were some puzzles on those book shelves in the middle left of this photo.  Don't know what happened to them, however.  You can see 2 computers to the right of the book shelves.  The little brown door on the right of the photo is the laundry.

Another area.

Resting during his change of scenery.

Beautiful facilities, for sure!  I did notice the cokes in the vending machine are $0.20 more than those from the vending machines in the other building.....not sure if they are bottles or not which would raise the price as the others were cans.

Here's the laundry area.  I figured they would be coin operated machines, but they are not!

Isn't this pretty?  Outer banks, maybe, divided into 3 canvases?

The view out the windows.  Not beautiful, but sunny!

This is such a nice gesture by the Shell station down below the Cancer Center. 

OK, that's it for now.  Won't know about the 4 p.m. dose til around 3 or so.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Focus on the Goodness

A dear friend shared a passage of scripture with me today that she memorized through a trying time in her life:  Psalm 27:13-14  "I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.  Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD."  

I definitely wouldn't be able to stand the testing if I didn't consider the goodness of the Lord!  And, I also have to think, as Job thought, "And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."  Job 1:21

I have my moments of doubt and fear, like last night as I traveled home by myself.  But, the only thing I know to do for comfort in those times is to pray.  And the Lord answers those prayers by sending comfort to my heart and puts my heart and mind at peace.

At 3 p.m. we got the good news that Tim would receive his 6th dose!  He weighed 187.2 upon arrival and when they weighed him around 2:30 he weighed 204.7.  The water weight is really packing on this time!  I am praying his lungs stay clear as that caused a problem the last time. Here's some photos from this afternoon/evening:

Tim told the nurse that it is such a waste to lay in the bed all day!  Yet, he is so tired that he sleeps in the chair when he is out of the bed.

Vitals 15 minutes before receiving his 7th dose at 4 p.m.

Feeling a little refreshed after his nap.

Getting his port and lines behind some water proof covering so he can get a shower!

Feeling like a "new man" after his shower and waiting for the nurse to hook him back up to everything.

The highlight of the evening, a call from everyone at church on a speaker phone!  Thank you, church!  :D

Unfortunately, the diarrhea struck today!  It's lights out for us for the night!