Excerpt: The Pursuit of God, The Human Thirst for the Divine, A.W. Tozer

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, The Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wondered so long. In Jesus' name. Amen
Excerpt: The Pursuit of God, The Human Thirst for the Divine, A.W. Tozer

Friday, June 30, 2017

When God Answers Prayer - A Teachable Moment

Tim got up around 7:30.  He was only able to eat half of the breakfast he fixed.  He took his shower and then came back to bed around 8 but was up about an hour later because he was not able to go back to sleep.  He was not able to breathe right.  That has happened to him several times.  Something else to mention to the oncologist today.

We went to the office to find some articles in his database for the bulletin.  I finished up the bulletin while he snoozed in his recliner and did some reading and watched some TV.  He was not hungry at lunch time.  I woke up with nausea that I finally had to take some Zofran for.  I think I brought it on myself by eating ice cream and chips before bed last night.  So, I was not feeling up to lunch, either.

We left for the doctor's appointment at 12:45.  Since Tim has been so weak and unsteady lately, I'm sure from not being able to eat much, I wheelchaired him into the hospital with the chair we got from Lori.  It folds up and fits behind the driver's seat in the car!  Very convenient.  Plus, I was able to get the doctor's signature on a form to get a handicapped parking pass, so I will be taking care of that next week.

After the bloodwork and power port cath care, we saw Dr. Triozzi.  I had my list of the problems Tim has for my argument for a CT scan being ordered.  I really did NOT want to cry or shout or stomp my feet!  But after checking Tim over and my mentioning the first item on my list of the stomach issues, the doctor said he was concerned about the stomach issues so he wanted to have a CT scan the same day as Tim is back to get the brain MRI!  Praise the Lord for answered prayer!

Also, remember the bleeding tumor that we had to bandage for 20 months before the doctor agreed it was time to have surgery to remove the tumor, which happened last November?  Well, there is another bleeding tumor growing around the rim of the surgery site where the other one was removed, so that was another reason the doctor wanted a CT scan ordered.

Also, there are some lumps of melanoma that continue to grow, even though the medicine Tim is currently taking is keeping most of the melanoma at bay.  At least, we think so.  That is another reason I was going to be adamant about getting a CT.  With the melanoma being active in Tim's brain, it is likely that it is active in places that we cannot see in the trunk of his body.  I pray that his vital organs are not compromised, but we need that scan to find out for sure!

Since Tim and I had not eaten all day, we decided to use a gift card we received (thanks again, Sheree!) and eat at Applebees on the way home.  We were early enough that we could still order from their lunch menu, which is about all the food we could eat anyway.  We both ordered a cup of soup and half a sandwich and a drink!  Tim was able to eat all but a few bites of the soup and the sandwich!  I was so happy!

It began to pour the rain outside just as we were finishing up our lunch.  So, we decided to sit and wait it out since there wasn't a line of people waiting to get our table.  Tim took his hearing aids out and handed them to me since they are not to get wet.  I didn't want to just throw them in my purse, so I wrapped them in a napkin first and then put them in my purse.  We never thought another thing about them all evening.
Napkin I wrapped Tim's hearing aids in.

Jessica and the kids arrived around 8:30.  So we visited for about an hour before Tim took his bed time meds.  When he went into the bedroom to get dressed he asked about his hearing aids.  So, I went to my purse for them.  No napkin folded up with his hearing aids in it was to be found!  We looked high and low, Jessica and I.  We dug through the trash can outside at least 3 times.  We dug through my purse several times.  We dug through every trash can in the house.  Nothing!  I was sick!  That is almost $4,000 down the drain that we were going to have to replace.  Tim went to bed saying, "don't worry, they will show up."  I said, "yeah, when we buy them again!"

Jessica and I kept looking.  I said, "I know everything happens for a reason, but....."  Jessica called Applebees to see if we could come and did through their trash.  They let us know they could not do that because it would break too many sanitation codes they would get sited for.  Jessica said, "we just don't know what good will come out of this.  Maybe you will think of a step in the process that you are not recalling right now."  I said to myself, "well, Lord, I don't know what good could possibly come out of this, but I will leave it in Your hands."  I kept looking.  I looked again in my purse.  For some reason I decided to look in my little change purse, go figure!  Jessica even picked it up but didn't open it when she felt the change in the bottom of it.
I absolutely do not remember folding the napkin this neatly and small to tuck it into this change purse!  I only remember folding the napkin over the hearing aids and then folding the napkin again and just sticking it inside of my purse.

I "knew" I had not put the hearing aids in there!  But, praise the Lord!  There they were!  I just started crying and took the change purse to Jessica and she looked at me and said, "Are you about to show me a Jesus moment?"  I said, "look in the change purse."  She started crying, too.  Now, we had the kids' attention!  "Why are you crying?" they asked.  Jessica said, "remember how we always pray to Jesus about our problems or when we need help, and we wait for Jesus to answer our prayers?  Well, Mamaw and I have been praying for Jesus to help us find Papaw's hearing aids for the last half an hour and He answered our prayers!  We don't always see answers to our prayers that quickly, do we?"  Ryan said, "No, because we've been praying for Papaw to be well for a long time, and we are still waiting for God to answer our prayers."

Now, I had to paraphrase most, if not all of the conversation above because I couldn't remember the exact wording, but, yes, that was definitely a teachable moment that I thank God for.  It was the good that we needed to see come out of the situation....so the kids would see that God cares and hears and answers our prayers.  Now, there will be times in the future when God will not answer our prayers the way we want.  That will be a teachable moment, too!  But, Thank You, Lord, that You chose to answer in a positive way tonight!  Now I will be able to sleep!

Tim ran a fever again tonight of 100.1 but he and I did sit outside for a little while tonight before Jessica got here.  Here are some of those pictures and others:

Just enjoying the evening and some hymns on BBN Radio.

My White-breasted nuthatch came back for a visit tonight.

I sure hope my new hummingbird feeder has some visitors eventually!!

Bed time.....or not!

And, it is bedtime for me!  Have a great July 4th weekend!

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Have You Considered My Servant, Job?

From our daughter, Elisabeth, on Facebook:
"I've been intrigued by Job, in the Bible, lately. I think trying to make sense of dad's cancer. But I was talking with dad about it today and he said several things that that I thot needed to be repeated.
As Christians, we often want to go through life "under the radar." We want life to be smooth sailing. Job was a righteous man and God blessed him greatly for that. But what happens when our "name is put on the table" like Job's was? It was God who mentioned his "servant Job" to Satan. It was God who allowed Satan to take everything away from Job. But the Bible tells us that even then Job didn't sin against God. Our name will be put on the table in this life. Bad things will happen to us. What we do during those times is up to us.

Today dad seemed a little off to me. The confusion is creeping back in. But his Bible knowledge is still there!"

Job 1:6-8
6 ¶ Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came also among them.
7 And the LORD said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it.
8 And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?

Yes, Job was living his life when God put his name on Satan's table of hunger for devouring one of God's servants.  Satan's whole objective is to bring dishonor to God.  From the beginning of Tim's illness with melanoma he has said, "For 30 years I've preached to my people to trust God.  Now I need to show them what that is like and how to do it."  And, so we have tried to trust.  No, we don't do it perfectly.  Sometimes Satan gets the best of us and fear creeps in instead of trust.  But, that is where our prayer warriors are so needed!  We need you praying those prayers that we cannot pray sometimes.

Ro 8:26-28
26  Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

And, according to verse 26 above, when you and I don't know what or how to pray, the Spirit takes over and intercedes for us.  How blessed we are to be called the children of God!  The Spirit knows the will of God for us.  And no matter what the outcome is, verse 28 promises that it will be for our good and His glory because of His purpose for our lives!  If we can't trust God with our lives, who can we trust?

Living By Faith

I care not today what tomorrow may bring,
If shadow or sunshine or rain,
The Lord I know ruleth o’er everything,
And all of my worry is vain.

Living by faith in Jesus above,
Trusting, confiding in His great love;
From all harm safe in His sheltering arm,
I’m living by faith and feel no alarm.

Though tempests may blow and the storm clouds arise,
Obscuring the brightness of life,
I’m never alarmed at the overcast skies—
The Master looks on at the strife.

I know that He safely will carry me through,
No matter what evils betide;
Why should I then care though the tempest may blow,
If Jesus walks close to my side.

Our Lord will return to this earth some sweet day,
Our troubles will then all be o’er;
The Master so gently will lead us away,
Beyond that blessed heavenly shore.

Tim goes for his oncology visit tomorrow.  Will include bloodwork, cath care and talking with the doctor.  Continue to pray the doctor will order a CT scan of Tim's chest, abdomen and pelvic areas!  From my records, as far as I can tell, he has not had one since January.
He smiled, but he really was not feeling very well.  I measured his temperature at 100.  Maybe he is smiling because I brought him some ice cream back from Walmart a few minutes before this picture was taken!  :D
Chance gave everyone a scare today.  Diving board accident.  Trying to do a back flip and hit his face on the board.  OUCH!  Thank the Lord he is OK.  He has to let his brain rest for 2 weeks.  That means no tablet, no TV, no reading, no running, and on and on.  Jessica chuckled with the nurse.  The day care workers are the ones I feel sorry for during the next 2 weeks! 
He had to stay at the hospital for a couple of hours so they could keep an eye on him.  I'm thinking he is gonna have a stiff neck tomorrow!
Gas price at our Walmart!
The shriveling mushroom
Three more mushrooms appeared today.

Bird photos and videos:
You lookin' at me?

Hard to see against the tree

Love this bright red guy!

All brown-headed cowbirds.  Wiped out the seed in the blue feeder!

Bluebird on the hunt!

Chipping sparrow on the hunt

Female Cardinal


More tomorrow!

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

There Is a Fountain

There Is a Fountain

There is a fountain filled with blood,
Drawn from Immanuel’s veins,
And sinners plunged beneath that flood
Lose all their guilty stains:
Lose all their guilty stains,
Lose all their guilty stains;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood
Lose all their guilty stains.

The dying thief rejoiced to see
That fountain in His day;
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away:
Wash all my sins away,
Wash all my sins away;
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away.

Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood
Shall never lose its pow’r,
Till all the ransomed church of God
Be saved to sin no more:
Be saved to sin no more,
Be saved to sin no more;
Till all the ransomed church of God
Be saved to sin no more.

E’er since by faith I saw the stream
Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die:
And shall be till I die,
And shall be till I die;
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die.

When this poor, lisping, stamm’ring tongue
Lies silent in the grave,
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I’ll sing Thy pow’r to save:
I’ll sing Thy pow’r to save,
I’ll sing Thy pow’r to save;
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I’ll sing Thy pow’r to save.

The Cleansing Wave

Oh, now I see the cleansing wave!
The fountain deep and wide;
Jesus, my Lord, mighty to save,
Points to His wounded side.

The cleansing stream I see, I see!
I plunge, and, oh, it cleanseth me!
Oh, praise the Lord, it cleanseth me!
It cleanseth me, yes, cleanseth me.

I see the new creation rise,
I hear the speaking blood;
It speaks, polluted nature dies,
Sinks ’neath the cleansing flood.

I rise to walk in Heav’n’s own light,
Above the world and sin,
With heart made pure and garments white,
And Christ enthroned within.

Amazing grace! ’tis Heav’n below
To feel the blood applied,
And Jesus, only Jesus know,
My Jesus crucified.

Lots of church song books have removed the hymns that talk about the blood of Christ.  Beloved, if it were not for the shed blood of Christ, none of us could be saved.  Hebrews 9:22 says, "And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission."  Chapters 9 and 10 of Hebrews talks about the animal sacrifices that were made to God, which pictured the sacrifice of a coming Savior.  Yet, those sacrifices could not remove sin.  That's why the priests had to keep making the sacrifices.  But, Christ's sacrifice removes sin when we trust Him as our Lord and Savior!  He only had to die once!  He doesn't keep coming back and dying on the cross.  Once for all!  
Oh!  Be thankful for the blood!  The blood of Christ!  And, by the way,  when John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.".... the word "world" is not talking about individuals/people.  The Greek word is cosmos which does not translate into MEN or WOMEN. The important part of that verse is the "whosoever."  Whosoever will may come!  Revelation 22:17 says, "And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely."

That being said, Jesus did NOT die for EVERYONE!   In Matthew 26:28 and Mark 14:24, Jesus said His blood was shed for MANY, not EVERYONE!  Everyone is invited to come, yes!  But, no one will without God doing something first to change their heart so they will come.  And that's a whole-nother story that I don't want to get into tonight!

Tim got up around 7:30, ate breakfast and went back to bed.  It was 10:00 before we got, I kid you not!  We got dressed and went to the two local Goodwills.  He still didn't want any lunch, but had a granola bar and I had him drink an Ensure.  We went over to the church office and worked on the big desk calendar.  When we went back to the house, I fixed myself something to eat while he snoozed in his recliner.  Around 3:00 I took my shower.  While I was in there, Tim brought the trash cans to the house from the road.  That was a workout for him!  When I got out of the shower, I found he had gone to bed!  

When he got up around 5, he got dressed for church.  He still did not want anything to eat.  Finally, at 5:45 he picked up his iPad and said he was going on over to the church.  I told him he still had an hour and 45 minutes before church started at 7:30.  He looked at the clock like he was confused about the time.  Anyway, he finally sat back down in the recliner and snoozed some more.  He woke up at 6:25 and asked if anyone was in the church parking lot yet.  I told him it was still an hour before church time.  Finally, at 6:55 I told him I was going to fix him some Gatorade to take to church and we left the house at 7:05.  He read over the missionary letter and the prayer list.

When it came time to pray, he told Mark to begin and that he would close.  But, after Mark prayed, he didn't.  Instead he told Bobby to lead another song and he sat down.  It worries me because I am with him all the time and can tell he has been more confused again lately.  I feel certain there is more cancer invading his brain.  I am not looking forward to the results of the brain MRI on July 12th.  But, I will just keep trusting the Lord to have His perfect will and way in our lives, knowing He makes no mistakes!

Please pray that the oncologist on Friday will be prepared to order a CT scan of Tim's chest, abdomen and pelvic area.  I don't want to have to demand a CT scan be done!  Prepare the heart of the doctor, O Lord, to order the CT scan!

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

It is Well With My Soul

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

No matter what happens in this life, I know it is well with my soul!  How about you?  Do you know where you will go when you die?  There's only 2 places.....heaven or hell!

It was absolutely beautiful today!  Lower temperature and humidity!  Perfect!  But, Tim is always cold anymore, to he needed his hoodie to sit in the shade of the carport! 

The mushroom is a bit more curled under today.

It was a beautiful day!
Some of Tim's uncontrollable, left-handed motor control skills.  He said, "Oh, look!  It almost looks like a smiley face!"  To which I replied, "No excuse, Mr. I-can't-eat-very-much-real-food-but-I-can-eat-tons-of-sweets!"  :D

Still trying to capture a good chimney swift picture.

They remind me of bats!

The bluebirds were doing what the chimney swifts do.....catching bugs in the air.  I have never seen them do this before!  Normally, they swoop down to the ground to eat and then fly back to the wire.

 Well, it took a while, but the blackbird finally found the peanuts!  It wasn't so easy for him to get to them, however!

I love this picture!

At last!  Got one!

Mommy and baby chipping sparrow.  You can barely see the baby in the grass behind momma.

All brown-headed cowbirds
 They sling the seed everywhere!

The hawk swooped back into the maple tree tonight, causing the birds to flee!  I barely caught him flying away.  Watch quickly above the fellowship hall after I say, "right there it was," and you will see him flying off.  You may have to watch a couple of times to see him.

And that wraps it up for today!