Excerpt: The Pursuit of God, The Human Thirst for the Divine, A.W. Tozer

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, The Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wondered so long. In Jesus' name. Amen
Excerpt: The Pursuit of God, The Human Thirst for the Divine, A.W. Tozer

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Death And Life

August 8, 2017
Tim, my first love, died.  And in the twinkling of an eye, he was more alive than he ever had been!  "
For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21  He no longer has cancer or the pain that he bore for 5 years.  "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." Revelation 21:4  And now he is living his eternal day with the Lord!  "We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord." 2 Corinthians 5:8

A big part of me died with Tim.  I was 15 when Tim and I became an inseparable couple!  High School sweethearts.  We did practically everything together!  I took classes just because he did so that we could be in the same class!  He would come to the house so we could do homework together.  We were soul mates!  The Lord was so good to us!  We had a love that would not, could not die!  Even though Tim died, my love for him did not!  I wanted to die with him!  But God did not allow it.  I lost my identity when he died.  I didn't know what to do.  I was drowning in the loneliness of being without him!  I never wanted to love again.  I never wanted to marry again.  

And then it happened.  So unexpected.  So not wanted.  But, God changed my heart.  He opened my eyes to someone who had been in my life for 9+ years.  Who could guess that one of the men who traveled to WV in August 2008 to help move us to NC would one day bring new love and new life to my cold, dead heart!  Who could guess that God had ordained that painful event of death only to turn it around to a wonderful new life full of love once again!  I would not have written my story that way!  But, I'm so glad He did!  "For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."  Psalm 30:5

Mark, you are that person!  The one who has brought new life to me!  A new desire to live life to the fullest, honoring the Lord in the journey!  So, on this day, August 8, 2018, even though I miss Tim terribly, I know God is with me because I am not alone!  I have you!  And I thank God for you!  I thank God for your faithfulness!  I thank God for being a willing servant.  I thank God He prepared my future to include you!  I thank God for who you are in Christ!  I thank God for who I am with you!

Thank You, Lord, for giving me another chance to love completely!  I thank You for what I am learning about Death AND Life!

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