Excerpt: The Pursuit of God, The Human Thirst for the Divine, A.W. Tozer

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, The Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wondered so long. In Jesus' name. Amen
Excerpt: The Pursuit of God, The Human Thirst for the Divine, A.W. Tozer

Friday, August 18, 2017

An Empty Chair

My Dearest Tim,
Today you have been gone 10 days, 1 hour, 12 minutes and 45 seconds.  It still seems so unreal.  I keep expecting to hear your voice, to see your smile.  Today I got your death certificate and the copies of your obituary, but it still doesn't seem real.

I filled the bird feeders and sat down to enjoy them.  No birds came.  It's just as well because your seat was empty.  I cried.  I needed to talk to someone, so I called Lori.  She diverted my thoughts.  It was a temporary fix.

Now it is time for bed, but you are not here.  The bed we shared for 41+ years is missing someone...you.  So, I will take two tylenol pm's and an anxiety pill and I will hopefully sleep through the night and through the sorrow of missing you.

I love and miss you, Babe!
The gray clouds are a reflection of the gray I felt in my heart this evening.

An empty chair.

No birds came.

Even though I was extremely sad tonight, there is hope in the Lord!  "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

2 comments:

Molly said...

Vicky... I can not imagine your pain or your loneliness. I truly have nothing to offer except my prayers and a shoulder ... for you to cry on, lean on, or to enclose you in a hug (even if it may be a virtual one!). Thank you for sharing your journey, for your openness and transparency!

Unknown said...

Dear Vicky, I can't imagine what you are going through. I pray for you and that God to help fill the emptiness as only He can. I am a few hundred miles away, but I am here for you. God bless you and to give you the strength to go on.
Love ya, Cheryl