What's My Purpose?

Slept well last night, even with napping on the couch during the day yesterday.  Woke up when a kitten jumped into my lap while I was already awake and deciding whether or not to get up.  That made up my mind.  So I got up and got my shower and got ready for church.

Several people greeted me and gave me their condolences at our loss of Tim.  Thank You, Lord, for even acquaintances being willing to pray for Tim through out his battle with cancer.  As they read my blog, they said they felt like they knew him and they loved him!  Now their prayers continue for the family as we grieve his loss.  I told one lady tonight that I have lost my purpose in life since it revolved around Tim.  I know the Lord will give me a new purpose in life sooner or later.  But it is hard right now.

I know God has a plan for me, however.  He didn't leave me here just to suffer and grieve.  I must find my new normal, my new purpose in service to my Savior!  I know it seems impossible right now, but "with God all things are possible."  Matthew 19:26  And I know He will direct my path that leads to my new purpose, my new normal.

Last year at the Pastors and Wives retreat, hosted by Damascus Baptist Church, Tim gave me this card on August 10th.  It was the Wednesday of the retreat.  On Wednesday, we packed up a picnic lunch and headed away from the camp to enjoy the day.  As I recall, it was raining that day, but it stopped long enough for us to find a picnic table and enjoy our lunch.

The card reads:
"My Dearest Vicky,
Years ago we set out on a lifetime journey together.  We did not know how unpredictable and challenging that journey would be.  The difficult times have shown me just how much I love you and how grateful I am that we can follow this path together.  Our future will be bright because we have each other and the Lord.
Love Always,
Tim"

How little did we know that 2 days shy of the day he gave me this card, he would enter heaven's gates.  Yes, unpredictable and challenging is exactly what the last months of his life were.  He went from doing very well to discovering more cancer in his brain the size of a golf ball.  That tumor caused all kinds of physical problems from him.  But, after he had brain surgery on our 41st wedding anniversary, May 8th, 2017, he began to get better and stronger and began preaching again.  Little did we know the cancer was still spreading like wildfire in his brain and began to wreak havoc on him physically.  He soon became too week to even walk around in the house.  He fell a couple of times and I had to call 911 to get the EMTs to help get him off of the floor.

That began a quick decline in his health and within a week, he was gone.  No more caring for the man I loved more than life itself!  No longer was our path together.  And all of a sudden, my purpose in life was gone.  But, with the Lord's help, I will find the new purpose and path He has for me to take for the rest of my days....as I walk the path alone, except for God and family and friends.  Thank You, Father, for special family and friends!  Most of all, Thank You, for a Savior, who died for my sins.