A Dream

I was having an awful dream this morning at 3:30 a.m.  I was going down a strange street full of people.  I was searching for something, I'm not certain what.  Then, all of a sudden, I saw Tim as he passed by me.  He did not see me in the crowd of people.  I turned around as he walked away with the crowd.  I ran after him and turned him around and said, "Tim?"  He just shook his head no.  I asked him why he had abandoned me, as the tears began to stream down my face.  He just kept shaking his head and never did answer me.  I asked him, "Don't you know I love you?  Why did you leave me?"

That's when I woke up.  The feeling was unbearable!  I began to cry.  I went into the bathroom and just cried.  I went back to bed and prayed through my tears, "Father, help me!  I know Tim would never abandon me and I know You will never abandon me!  But, how I long for Tim's arms to hold me once again!  Hold me in Your arms, Father!  I need to feel arms around me!  I hate being without Tim!"

I had to get up and read God's Word for comfort.  I Googled encouragement for widows.  I added the italicized words.

Psalm  68:5 A father of the fatherless, and a judge (or advocate) of the widows, is God in his holy habitation.

God will defend me.  He has not abandoned me!

Psalm  34:18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite (crushed) spirit.

I woke up this morning feeling crushed!  How wonderful to know I could go to Him in prayer because He IS near!  He is not far away!  I can go to Him any time of the day or night when I need comfort!  Thank You, Father!  Thank You for sending the Comforter!

John  14:18 ¶ I will not leave you comfortless (bereaved): I will come to you.

Yes, that is a powerful promise!  God will not leave me alone in my grieving!  He will help me get through this.  His Word is comforting!  I am already feeling better!  I know Tim would never abandon me, if the choice were his to make.  I said to him a few weeks before the Lord took him home, "I wish the Lord would heal you down here!"  He said, "I do, too, Babe!  I do, too!"  The last day he was at the house, I saw him lying in the guest room bed just staring up at the ceiling.  I asked him if he was OK.  He just shook his head yes.  That's when he said, "Take me to the hospital."  Looking back, I think he knew his time on earth was coming to an end.

1Thessalonians  4:13 ¶ But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep (dead), that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.
14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep (are dead) in Jesus will God bring with him.

God has a great plan of hope.  I have a great hope (Having Only Positive Expectations) because the real Tim is not in that casket in the mausoleum.  The real Tim is in heaven with the heavenly Father!  Not only will I see my Lord, but I will see Tim again!  God was very gracious to give Tim to me to love for 46 years and 5 months!  And that love continues, it is just different now.  I have so many wonderful memories of our life together!  Thank You, Lord, for giving us a GREAT marriage!

I could list many more verses, but I think I will go back to bed and try to get some more sleep before it is time for church!  Thank You, Father, for Your comforting!